


Bad Dreams

by Azuremosquito



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Alternate Canon, Canon Compliant, Canon Era, Canon Universe, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Comfort, Crying, Darkspawn, During Canon, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, M/M, Men Crying, Past Violence, Random & Short, Short, Short One Shot, Survivor Guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-10-04 02:34:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20463587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azuremosquito/pseuds/Azuremosquito
Summary: Garrett has a nightmare, reliving Carver's death when the family fled Lothering and Anders comforts him





	Bad Dreams

They weren’t going to make it. They were going to die and it would be all his fault.

Mother stumbled again and panic squeezed at his chest like bands of iron. Why couldn’t he run faster? His legs weren’t responding properly, sluggish and clumsy as though he tried to run through mud. The horde was gaining on them, their numbers thicker than ants, blackening the hillside as they swarmed.

Garrett’s lungs burned from the harsh, acrid stench in the air. They weren’t going to make it.

A bellowing roar shook the landscape around them, the ground pounding with mighty thuds. He tried to place himself between the thing and his family, but Carver… Carver was too far away. The monster crested the hill and bellowed again, pounding meaty fists the size of boulders against its chest.

Carver had his sword drawn. His scream of defiance as he charged the ogre was drowned out by Garrett’s own. Garrett’s daggers flashed as he ran, but his brother was too close to it. The ogre’s hand flashed out with greater speed than any creature that size had a right to. He heard ribs snapping as it squeezed, heard Carver’s yell of pain. Saw his baby brother dashed against the rocks, once, twice. Tossed aside like refuse.

_ “NOOOOOOOOOOO!” _

Garrett sat up in bed, breathing hard and staring around the darkened chamber with glassy eyes. Sweat matted his dark hair against his forehead and his pulse thundered in his ears. The soaked sheets were twisted around his legs, hampering his restless motions.

“Hawke?”

Garrett started at the quiet voice, flinching away from the gentle hand that touched his back.

“Bad dream?” Anders asked, no offense in his tone. He didn’t try to touch Garrett again, and there was understanding in his amber eyes, just visible in the dim firelight.

Garrett didn’t answer, tearing the tangled sheets from his legs and rising, stumbling to the desk and shakily pouring himself a glass of water from the pitcher. _Maker_, it had been like reliving the horrific event all over again. Carver’s broken form, eyes staring at him, accusing even in death.

His hands shook so badly, he spilled water all over the desk and floor.

“Here, let me.” Anders was there, gently taking the cup and pouring a fresh glass. Garrett took it gratefully, draining it in a few gulps then thrusting it back and Anders set it on the desk, his eyes on Hawke.

“Sometimes, talking about it helps,” the healer suggested.

Garrett moved back to the bed and sat on the edge, scrubbing his hands down his face. “I saw my brother die.” His voice sounded harsh and ragged even to his own ears.

Anders stepped in front of him, expression full of sympathy as he stroked his fingers through Garrett’s rumpled locks. “I’m sorry,” was all he said.

Unable to hold it in any longer, Garrett caught Anders around the waist and pressed his face into his lover’s belly. Painful sobs wracked his body, shaking so hard he half expected his limbs to rattle loose. He had failed. He hadn’t been able to save his brother. His foolish, reckless, arse of a brother.

He remembered his mother’s accusations, even as he’d stood, stunned by grief and loss. It had all happened so quickly. One second, Carver was alive and the four of them were at least safe and together as they fled. The next, Carver had been violently and brutally ripped away to the Maker’s bosom. How were they supposed to go on like this?

After a time, his sobs wound down until he was simply gasping for breath, exhausted and drained. Anders was still stroking his hair, wordless while his lover grieved. Wonderful, caring Anders, so gentle as the healer, and yet so fierce in his devotion.

Sniffling, Garrett lifted his head and stared up at his partner. “’m sorry,” he mumbled thickly. He hadn’t wanted the other man to see that side of him. In truth, he’d never had a chance to properly grieve for Carver. Fleeing to Kirkwall, indentured to the Red Irons, living under Gamlen’s roof, the journey to the Deep Roads, solving all of Kirkwall’s problems…

Hawke was exhausted.

“Don’t be,” Anders murmured, his fingers curling beneath Garrett’s chin and gently lifting his head.

“What did I do to deserve you?”

A flicker of something passed across Anders’ face. Surprise. Gratitude. He smiled, just the corners of his eyes crinkling, but it was enough. “I could say the same.”

Hawke pulled Anders close again, hugging the mage tightly and burying his face against his lover. “Thank you,” he mumbled. He was so very tired.

Anders fingers stroked through his hair again and then he pulled away. “Let’s get some sleep. You sound like you need it.” He climbed onto the bed and gently tugged Garrett with him.

Hawke shifted, restless and uneasy. His body screamed for sleep but his mind was afraid of returning to that dark day. “I don’t…” he began.

“Come on. I’ll tell you about the third time I ran away from the Circle.” The blond mage held his arms open and Garrett crawled into them, burrowing against his lover, unashamed by his need for comfort. Anders stroked soothing fingers down his back, snuggling more comfortably into the pillows.

“Now let’s see. I think I was 17 at the time. The templars had taken a group of us apprentices across the lake for a field trip. To study plants or something, I don’t remember exactly. Anyway, we had to cross near a farm and the farmer had the most beautiful daughter…”

Garrett never heard the end of the story, already fast asleep, safe in his lover’s arms. 


End file.
